Workplace dilemmas: how do I help my colleague through mental illness?

Our resident agony uncle offers wisdom about your workplace woes. This time: how to help a colleague with mental illness

Dear Tim,

For the last five years, I’ve had the privilege of sitting alongside a wonderful colleague. He’s a fantastic man: kind, funny, usually very gregarious and extremely efficient.

From time to time, like us all I suppose, he gets a bit stressed. Sometimes it’s a pressing deadline, or a run-in with management. Occasionally he’ll have a moan about something apparently trivial, like the cleanliness of the gents’ loos or the staff kitchen. But it’s usually done with a fair amount of humour, and he soon gets over it.

Recently, though, I’ve noticed a change in him. I find he gets worked up about things far more frequently – and often with no good cause. To give an example, the other day he berated one of his team for misspelling a client’s name in a draft letter. Usually, he’d gently point out their mistake and then move on, but this time he was ranting and raving for ages. It was all a bit embarrassing, to be honest.

My biggest concern is that he’s become very withdrawn. Like many workplaces, we have a tradition of Friday afternoon beers. The fridge is loaded with a few bottles of lager and we finish a bit early and gather in the kitchen. It lasts about an hour, and my colleague always used to come along. He’d get involved with office socials, too, and enjoyed chatting about the latest TV shows or movies during lulls in the workload.

He’s not up for any of that now. He comes into the office early and spends most of the day focused on his work. His only interactions are about work stuff, and even then he’s reluctant to chat. He rarely contributes in meetings, unless he’s asked a question directly.

I’ve tried talking to him about this, because I’m worried that his mental health is fragile. He told me a few years ago that his mother had a nervous breakdown in her forties, and I know he was worried that it may be genetic. He’s just turned 40. But the trouble is, whenever I try to have a chat with him, he closes down. We even arranged to go for a coffee one afternoon, but he cancelled at the last minute, saying he’d sooner go when he was “more himself”.

I don’t want to crowd him or make a meal out of it. But I am worried about him and want to help in any way I can. Do you have any advice about the best way of showing support, without making things worse?

Reply:

Good on you for showing such concern for a colleague. According to The Mental Health Foundation, nearly 15 per cent of people experience mental health problems in the workplace. And while evidence suggests that women are twice as likely as men to suffer from such conditions, it’s still the case that more than 10 per cent of male workers have a mental illness at some point.

In other words: this is a common difficulty, and men are by no means immune. As well as the emotional cost, there’s an economic one: around 70 million work days are lost each year in the UK alone, as a direct result of mental health problems. So it’s in employers’ interests to tackle this problem, for both social and financial reasons.

It does sound very much like your workmate is struggling. Of course, his travails may not be work-related. It’s interesting that you’ve drawn a connection between his mother’s challenging mental health in her forties and his recent birthday.

There is some evidence to suggest that certain mental health problems are hereditary, and the list includes clinical depression and bipolar disorder. But it could just as easily be the case that your colleague is worried about reaching the early years of middle age, with all the anxiety that can bring. And the fact his mother suffered form mental illness at a similar age is just serving to exacerbate his concerns.

Whatever the cause, it’s important to be there for your colleague, but, as you rightly say, not to crowd him. The Samaritans website is a great source of insight around the symptoms of mental health problems, including depression, and ways to behave with people who are suffering from them.

The advice is to give the person an opportunity to talk about their concerns, but not to pressure them. If they do want to chat, you should be caring, patient, and compassionate. Use open questions to elicit information about how they’re feeling, and repeat what you hear so they have a chance to test it out and refine it. It’s a big ask, but you’ll be doing your friend a massive favour simply by being there.

If it all gets too much, or you’re worried that his illness is worsening, you should ask for help. Don’t betray any confidences, but do mention to your colleague’s manager, or to HR, that you have concerns. The company will have processes in place to deal with this very situation.

As I say, your care and concern is laudable. Be there for your colleague if you can. But remember: you also need to look after yourself. Carrying another’s burdens takes a toll, so be sure to have appropriate support as you try to help your colleague through this difficult time.

Published: 18 March 2019

© Copyright Just Recruitment 2019

If you enjoyed reading this, you may also like – How to compliment colleagues: a five-step guide

You may also like to read – Do I compete against my career mentor for promotion?

Jobs currently available

New job
Fitter/Labourer
Sector: Property and Construction
Salary: Competitive
Location: Colchester
Role: Full Time
Contract: Permanent
Job ref: 913696
About the role

Just Recruitment is looking for a Fitter/Labourer based near Colchester, to join a nationwide, manufacturing-based construction company known for delivering high-quality solutions and excellent customer service. With a wealth of industry experience, they understand the importance of producing top-quality products for their clients.

Ideally, you will have groundworks experience and a fencing background.

You will be travelling to sites to support the team leaders and will be involved with a lot of heavy work such as digging, lifting and manual labour.

Role requirements include:

  • Willing to work long hours
  • Physically able and willing to do manual labour
  • CSCS card is a must
  • Manual labour experience is preferable
  • A driving licence is essential
  • Happy to stay away from home as required
  • Other site-based tickets, such as Ipaf and SSSTS, are advantageous

Benefits include:

  • Competitive basic salary plus overtime
  • 20 days of holidays plus bank holidays
  • Lots of progression is available, as this company like to promote within
  • Opportunity to be put through training courses

This is an excellent opportunity to join a vibrant company on a full-time, permanent basis.

 

Just Recruitment acts as an employment agency for permanent roles.
We are an equal opportunities employer and welcome applications from all suitable candidates.

 

Read more
New job
Field Service Technician (York/Darlington)
Sector: Engineering and Manufacturing
Salary: Discussed on application
Location: York, Darlington
Role: Full Time
Contract: Permanent
Job ref: TB03
About the role

Due to continued growth, one of the world's leading providers of vehicle washing technology is recruiting a Field Service Technician to support customers in the York / Darlington area.

Hours: Monday to Friday, 40 hours per week plus 1 in 3 weekend cover.

The role involves the service and installation of car and commercial valet equipment. You will be responsible for all aspects of planned and reactive maintenance, servicing and repairing equipment, maintaining van stock to required levels, and completing job sheets accurately.

Role requirements include:

  • You will have an Electrical or Mechanical engineering qualification
  • Be willing to travel and stay out overnight as and when required
  • Be willing to take on additional training and relevant courses, including evening courses that the company may pay for
  • Can work on your own initiative or as part of a team, and have problem-solving skills
  • Have a valid, clean UK driving licence
  • Good people skills, presentable and able to liaise directly with customers
  • Be punctual and able to keep accurate and timely documentation
  • IT literate with Microsoft Office and Outlook experience
  • Work within Health & Safety guidelines as set by the company

Benefits include:

  • Company vehicle available
  • Mobile phone
  • Pension scheme
  • Death in service benefit
  • Uniform and tools provided

 

Just Recruitment acts as an employment agency for permanent roles.
The salary advertised is the bracket available for this position. The actual salary paid will be dependent on your level of experience, qualifications and skill set.
We are an equal opportunities employer and welcome applications from all suitable candidates.

 

Read more
Forklift Driver - Counterbalance (10am - 8pm)
Sector: Transport, Logistics and Shipping
Location: Earls Colne
Role: Full Time
Contract: Permanent
Job ref: JC5
About the role

Just Recruitment is delighted to be supporting a transport and logistics business in Earls Colne with the recruitment of a Forklift Driver, due to increased workload.

This is a permanent opportunity!

To be considered for this role, you must have a Counterbalance licence that is valid and up-to-date — previous experience operating these trucks is required.

This is a busy and varied role where you could be working in the yard, moving goods, stock checking, or loading and unloading trucks throughout the day.

This is a great company to be part of — offering further progression and development.

Hours: 10am to 8pm.

Overtime is also available (subject to business requirements).

Free parking is available on site, as well as further company benefits.

Please note that, due to the company’s location, you must have access to your own transport.

 

Just Recruitment acts as an employment agency for permanent roles.
We are an equal opportunities employer and welcome applications from all suitable candidates.

 

Read more
Forklift Driver - Bendi (8am - 6pm)
Sector: Transport, Logistics and Shipping
Location: Earls Colne, Essex
Role: Full Time
Contract: Permanent
Job ref: JC4
About the role

Just Recruitment is delighted to be supporting a transport and logistics business in Earls Colne with the recruitment of a Forklift Driver, due to increased workload.

This is a permanent opportunity!

To be considered for this role, you must have a Bendi/Flexi licence that is valid and in date — previous experience operating these trucks is required.

This is a busy and varied role where you could be working in the yard, moving goods, stock checking, or loading and unloading trucks throughout the day.

This is a great company to be part of — offering further progression and development.

Hours: 8am to 6pm.

Overtime is also available (subject to business requirements).

Free parking is available on site, as well as further company benefits.

Please note that, due to the company’s location, you must have access to your own transport.

 

Just Recruitment acts as an employment agency for permanent roles.
We are an equal opportunities employer and welcome applications from all suitable candidates.

 

Read more
Counterbalance FLT Drivers
Sector: Production and Stock Control
Salary: £13.50 per hour
Location: Hadleigh, Suffolk
Role: Full Time
Contract: Temporary
Job ref: JT-HAD-FD-0825
About the role

Just Temps seeks reliable and hardworking Counterbalance FLT Drivers for a hands-on role in a fast-paced environment, within a well-established food manufacturing company, based in Hadleigh, Suffolk.

Hours: Monday to Friday, 9am to 5pm.

Key responsibilities include:

  • Heavy lifting – regularly handling up to 50kg
  • Ripping and tipping of raw materials
  • Maintaining a clean and safe working environment
  • Working in a dusty environment with appropriate PPE
  • Supporting general production and manufacturing tasks

Role requirements include:

  • Comfortable with heavy lifting on a continuous basis
  • Previous experience in a factory setting is desirable
  • Good attention to detail and strong work ethic
  • Reliable and punctual

What’s on offer:

  • Competitive hourly rate
  • Consistent Monday to Friday hours
  • Long-term opportunity with a reputable local employer

If you're ready to roll up your sleeves and get stuck into a vital role in the food production industry, we want to hear from you.

 

Just Temps acts as an Employment Business for the supply of Temporary Staff.
The salary advertised is the bracket available for this position. 
We are an equal opportunities employer and welcome applications from all suitable candidates.

 

Read more