Workplace dilemmas: how do I help my colleague through mental illness?

Our resident agony uncle offers wisdom about your workplace woes. This time: how to help a colleague with mental illness

Dear Tim,

For the last five years, I’ve had the privilege of sitting alongside a wonderful colleague. He’s a fantastic man: kind, funny, usually very gregarious and extremely efficient.

From time to time, like us all I suppose, he gets a bit stressed. Sometimes it’s a pressing deadline, or a run-in with management. Occasionally he’ll have a moan about something apparently trivial, like the cleanliness of the gents’ loos or the staff kitchen. But it’s usually done with a fair amount of humour, and he soon gets over it.

Recently, though, I’ve noticed a change in him. I find he gets worked up about things far more frequently – and often with no good cause. To give an example, the other day he berated one of his team for misspelling a client’s name in a draft letter. Usually, he’d gently point out their mistake and then move on, but this time he was ranting and raving for ages. It was all a bit embarrassing, to be honest.

My biggest concern is that he’s become very withdrawn. Like many workplaces, we have a tradition of Friday afternoon beers. The fridge is loaded with a few bottles of lager and we finish a bit early and gather in the kitchen. It lasts about an hour, and my colleague always used to come along. He’d get involved with office socials, too, and enjoyed chatting about the latest TV shows or movies during lulls in the workload.

He’s not up for any of that now. He comes into the office early and spends most of the day focused on his work. His only interactions are about work stuff, and even then he’s reluctant to chat. He rarely contributes in meetings, unless he’s asked a question directly.

I’ve tried talking to him about this, because I’m worried that his mental health is fragile. He told me a few years ago that his mother had a nervous breakdown in her forties, and I know he was worried that it may be genetic. He’s just turned 40. But the trouble is, whenever I try to have a chat with him, he closes down. We even arranged to go for a coffee one afternoon, but he cancelled at the last minute, saying he’d sooner go when he was “more himself”.

I don’t want to crowd him or make a meal out of it. But I am worried about him and want to help in any way I can. Do you have any advice about the best way of showing support, without making things worse?

Reply:

Good on you for showing such concern for a colleague. According to The Mental Health Foundation, nearly 15 per cent of people experience mental health problems in the workplace. And while evidence suggests that women are twice as likely as men to suffer from such conditions, it’s still the case that more than 10 per cent of male workers have a mental illness at some point.

In other words: this is a common difficulty, and men are by no means immune. As well as the emotional cost, there’s an economic one: around 70 million work days are lost each year in the UK alone, as a direct result of mental health problems. So it’s in employers’ interests to tackle this problem, for both social and financial reasons.

It does sound very much like your workmate is struggling. Of course, his travails may not be work-related. It’s interesting that you’ve drawn a connection between his mother’s challenging mental health in her forties and his recent birthday.

There is some evidence to suggest that certain mental health problems are hereditary, and the list includes clinical depression and bipolar disorder. But it could just as easily be the case that your colleague is worried about reaching the early years of middle age, with all the anxiety that can bring. And the fact his mother suffered form mental illness at a similar age is just serving to exacerbate his concerns.

Whatever the cause, it’s important to be there for your colleague, but, as you rightly say, not to crowd him. The Samaritans website is a great source of insight around the symptoms of mental health problems, including depression, and ways to behave with people who are suffering from them.

The advice is to give the person an opportunity to talk about their concerns, but not to pressure them. If they do want to chat, you should be caring, patient, and compassionate. Use open questions to elicit information about how they’re feeling, and repeat what you hear so they have a chance to test it out and refine it. It’s a big ask, but you’ll be doing your friend a massive favour simply by being there.

If it all gets too much, or you’re worried that his illness is worsening, you should ask for help. Don’t betray any confidences, but do mention to your colleague’s manager, or to HR, that you have concerns. The company will have processes in place to deal with this very situation.

As I say, your care and concern is laudable. Be there for your colleague if you can. But remember: you also need to look after yourself. Carrying another’s burdens takes a toll, so be sure to have appropriate support as you try to help your colleague through this difficult time.

Published: 18 March 2019

© Copyright Just Recruitment 2019

If you enjoyed reading this, you may also like – How to compliment colleagues: a five-step guide

You may also like to read – Do I compete against my career mentor for promotion?

Jobs currently available

New job
Purchasing Supervisor
Sector: Purchasing and Merchandising
Location: Ipswich
Role: Full Time
Contract: Permanent
Job ref: JC24
About the role

Just Recruitment is partnering with a growing, industry-leading organisation in Ipswich to recruit a Purchasing Supervisor.

Working collaboratively within a fast-paced, team-oriented purchasing function, you will take responsibility for taking the highly successful Purchasing Team to the next level of procurement. Reporting to the Purchasing Manager, the emphasis of the role is to work with existing team members to build key skills and to improve current processes. It will involve resolving daily issues, building and maintaining supplier relationships and helping to build the future purchasing team.

Duties include:

  • Primary responsibility for the daily management of specific team members.
  • Provide structured training and guidance to proactively encourage individual and team development, ensuring team succession planning.
  • Empower the team to take ownership of their roles/responsibilities.
  • Responsible for managing up and organising updates/meetings with the Team Manager.
  • Actively work with other supervisors and management to ensure a consistent approach within the department.
  • Resolution of daily issues—including data collation of issues.
  • Manage supplier relationships and performance.
  • Lead on supplier lead time reviews and relevant internal updates.
  • Present data on monthly spend and KPIs, and non-conformance tracking.
  • Lead on-demand planning, working with the external Sales Team and suppliers to provide forecasting.
  • Participate in pricing reviews.
  • Deliver guidance and training daily to the team.
  • Proactively work on team engagement through coaching, mentoring and regular 1-2-1s.

Key skills/qualifications required include:

  • CIPS level 4 achieved or prepared to undertake.
  • Leadership skills.
  • Ability to develop and maintain commercial awareness, internally and industry-wide.
  • A proactive approach with a “can-do” attitude and the ability to motivate others.
  • Analytical skills with strong problem-solving ability.
  • Proven negotiation skills.
  • Good understanding of supply chain procedures.
  • Proven advanced level of Computer literacy - Microsoft Excel/Word/Access.
  • Sound Administrative experience. Knowledge of ERP.

Hybrid working will be available after successful completion of the probationary period (min. of 3 days in the office, up to 2 days at home).

 

Just Recruitment acts as an employment agency for permanent roles.
We are an equal opportunity employer and welcome applications from all suitable candidates.

 

Read more
New job
Brand Coordinator
Sector: Purchasing and Merchandising
Location: Braintree
Role: Full Time
Contract: Permanent
Job ref: JC23
About the role

Just Recruitment is delighted to be supporting a well-regarded business based in Braintree who are recruiting for a Brand Coordinator to add to their team.

As a Brand Coordinator, you will manage the entire process from product development to customer delivery, including:

  • Product development and follow-up in collaboration with customers, Sales and Business Development Managers, and your international colleagues
  • Daily contact with customers
  • Daily communication with colleagues across multiple production sites
  • Creating and maintaining master data
  • Inventory planning
  • Monitoring KPIs such as delivery times and coverage

Role requirements include:

  • Strong commercial skills
  • Proactive, action-oriented and self-motivated
  • Ability to manage multiple projects simultaneously and maintain an overview
  • Service-minded and skilled at building and maintaining good relationships
  • Working systematically and structured
  • Desire to advance your career within the company and build long-term relationships with customers and colleagues
  • Have more than 2 years of experience in purchasing or as a purchasing assistant

Working hours: Monday to Friday 8.30am - 5.00pm

Just Recruitment acts as an employment agency for permanent roles.
We are an equal opportunity employer and welcome applications from all suitable candidates.

 

Read more
Sales Office Coordinator
Sector: Public Service and Administration
Location: Ipswich
Role: Full Time
Contract: Permanent
Job ref: JC22
About the role

Just Recruitment is recruiting for a Sales Office Coordinator to join a well-established company based in Ipswich.

You’ll be working within a busy, fast-paced, team-oriented, customer-focused Sales Office. The main emphasis of the role is to manage customer expectations by organising the pricing of materials to meet project deadlines. Previous experience in processing quotes, sales, purchase orders, and invoices is preferred.

The ability to problem solve and seek solutions is essential, as is the ability to control workload with varying demands, whilst applying attention to detail with a diplomatic and proactive approach. You will possess previous experience within a similar role.

Duties include:

  • Preparing project quotations.
  • Processing sales and purchase orders.
  • Preparing/checking customers' invoices.
  • Data validation/attention to detail checking customer purchase orders/project information.
  • Proactively managing customer relations with both approved contractors, suppliers and external sales teams.
  • Managing inter-departmental communications relating to project quotes/orders/deliveries/invoicing.
  • Co-ordination of project pricing, deliveries and problem-solving customer queries.
  • Ability to adapt communication style/approach to manage a diverse range of tasks throughout the project process.

Key experience required includes:

  • Previous experience in high-level administration, with strong attention to detail and excellent customer service skills
  • Experience within a sales support function would be advantageous.
  • A proactive approach to workload, rather than reactive.

Hybrid working is available after successful completion of the probationary period — a minimum of 3 days in the office and up to 2 days working from home

Hours: Monday – Friday (9:00am - 5:00pm).

Just Recruitment acts as an employment agency for permanent roles.
We are an equal opportunities employer and welcome applications from all suitable candidates.

 

Read more
Warehouse Team Leader
Sector: Warehouse
Salary: £27,000 - £30,000 per annum
Location: Earls Colne
Role: Full Time
Contract: Permanent
Job ref: JC21
About the role

Just Recruitment is delighted to be supporting a growing company based in Earls Colne with the recruitment of a Warehouse Team Leader.

Duties include:

  • Overseeing and coordinating daily warehousing activities, including receiving, storing, handling, shipping, and inventory management.
  • Getting stuck in and working with the team on a daily basis.
  • Implementing and enforcing safety guidelines and procedures to ensure a secure working environment.
  • Scheduling and assigning tasks to warehouse staff, ensuring efficient workflow.
  • Assisting in inventory control to optimise stock levels and minimise discrepancies.
  • Ensuring the team is equipped with proper safety attire for their protection.
  • Preparing and managing the smooth transfer of stock to and from stores.
  • Leading and motivating a team of 6 passionate warehouse associates.

Hours:
Monday to Friday, 8.30am - 5.30pm.
During peak seasons, you may be required to work a Saturday.

Role requirements include:

  • Previous experience in a warehousing role.
  • Excellent communication skills to effectively manage a team.
  • Be able to prioritise own and team’s workload and use own initiative.

Please note that due to the company’s location, you will need to drive.

Just Recruitment acts as an employment agency for permanent roles.
The salary advertised is the bracket available for this position. The actual salary paid will be dependent on your level of experience, qualifications and skill set.
We are an equal opportunities employer and welcome applications from all suitable candidates.

 

Read more
Sales Manager
Sector: Sales
Location: South East
Role: Full Time
Contract: Permanent
Job ref: 913721
About the role

Just Recruitment is working with a growing Sudbury-based business seeking a Sales Manager to join their long-standing team.

Due to continued growth, this newly created role will play a key part within the sales and marketing team — delivering exceptional service to new and existing customers while managing ongoing accounts.

You’ll act as the vital link between customers and the technical teams, ensuring every interaction reinforces the company’s reputation for excellence.

The sales team is expected to know their clients, and therefore, a minimum of 50% of your time will be spent in front of customers.

Key responsibilities include:

  • Prospect and build a pipeline of winnable projects.
  • Negotiate and close transactions.
  • Provide outstanding customer service to new and existing clients.
  • Build and nurture relationships to drive customer satisfaction, retention, and repeat business.
  • Understand customer needs and effectively communicate product information, features, and benefits.
  • Support customers throughout the sales cycle, from enquiry through to delivery and aftersales.
  • Manage time and priorities effectively to meet deadlines and maintain high service standards.

Skills and qualifications include:

  • Proven experience in prospecting new clients, preparing proposals, negotiating and closing disinfection sales in the water and wastewater industry.
  • Excellent communication and interpersonal skills — confident, clear, and customer-focused.
  • Strong ability to build rapport, listen actively, and translate customer needs into practical solutions.
  • Solid understanding of the sales process and relationship management.
  • Skilled at explaining technical products in an approachable way (training provided).
  • Effective time management, organisation, and follow-through.

This is an excellent opportunity to grow and develop within a successful team and business.

If you are a hungry and driven salesperson - this role is for you!

Just Recruitment acts as an employment agency for permanent roles.
We are an equal opportunities employer and welcome applications from all suitable candidates.

 

Read more